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UFA: Unlimited Funds Available (12/1/2010)
“I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.” – George Bernard Shaw
The resounding belch in stereo you may have heard was the result of the feeding frenzy at the trough of free agency. This past free agent market perhaps had fewer marquee players than last season, but there was good depth, and many clubs were clearly looking for a considerable upgrade to their rosters. Those clubs producing a deep gastric belch sated their appetite with over priced veterans or threw gobs of cash at young college or import players that managed to avoid detection when they were draft-eligible. The petite hiccups came from the clubs that resisted the urge to mortgage their future by signing minor leaguers to plug holes in their roster. Only the Boston Bruins had the intestinal fortitude to resist the feast, and as a result may still have cash to spend at next year’s banquet. Perhaps all the clubs were pigs fattening themselves up, while Boston is the farmer waiting for them to get big enough to slaughter.
Here we will take a look at the signings made team-by-team. Since signing bonuses are not generally available, we will examine the financial impact. At the most conservative estimate the NsHL and AsHL clubs will spend $134,264,400 on the 129 newly signed UFA contracts alone, and over the lifetime of those contracts, it will total $348,749,400. These figures do not include any signing bonuses or performance bonuses, so it is safe to project the actual cost for this season alone as considerably over $150 million! Let’s separate the pigs from the piglets, shall we?
For the purposes of these numbers, we have projected who is most likely to be an NsHL player (represented at full value), and who is most likely to be an AsHL or depth player (represented at 10% of the contract value). Determining who would qualify as fitting on the “depth” list was mainly based on how likely they would regularly play as a top 12 forward, top 6 defenseman, or as a backup goalie. Admittedly there could also be performance clauses that boost any of these figures, so these represent the absolute minimum possible value assuming the players complete their contracts with the club that signed them.
Note: See Appendix for a Complete List of Signings
As you can see the three biggest spenders for this season are Calgary, Edmonton and Minnesota, with each club paying out over $10 million. When you add Toronto, Tampa Bay and Phoenix to the list, you have the six teams that not only signed deals that pay the most this season, at a minimum of $8.875 million dollars, but also the six clubs that have committed the most money long term with Tampa’s $24,050,000 being the smallest amounts. The only other team to break the $8 million mark is Detroit at $8,500,000 this year, but they only committed an additional $3 million beyond, so they fall to 14th in terms of total dollars. The other six teams are quite clearly the piggiest. Minnesota and Toronto signed the most players of these clubs, at seven, and both teams went for variety. That’s why they receive the Dwight Schrute* Certificate of Merit for creativity. Buffalo was probably one of the little runts who were watching as they were pretty much inactive at the trough.
It is noteworthy that besides the aforementioned Boston and Buffalo, there are only four other teams that do not appear to have tried to plug a hole at the NsHL level with their signings. New Jersey, Chicago, Dallas, and Montreal qualify as mere piglets in this sty analogy.
There were several prized porkers amongst the GMs, as the Islanders, Rangers, Nashville, Florida, and Vancouver, all committed at least $5 million dollars for the season, but did not break into the $8 million club. With the exception of the Islanders all of these clubs added at least 2 players who should help their cause this year at the NsHL level and made contract commitments worth at least $12.5 million in the long run. The Islanders receive the Mr. Zuckerman’s Famous Pig Award* for being clever enough to fatten themselves up for the season to look good, but left some room for growth next season in order to avoid immediate slaughter. All eight players they signed, only one of whom will play regularly for at the NsHL level are signed to one year deals.
Of the remaining teams Carolina, Washington, St. Louis, Pittsburgh, Los Angeles, Columbus, Atlanta and Anaheim all made a few signings that patched up the pigpen at both levels. These teams are all spending at least $1.5 million, but less than $5 million on their new players this season, and all but Carolina, Washington and Pittsburgh committed less than $10 million long term. This group of big boars have room for future signings, but made enough noise to attract at least a few sows.
The final two clubs to mention are Colorado and San Jose, who both waded into the mud to pluck a tasty defensive morsel from the snout of the other pigs. These suckers* came away with a player who will help their organization in the short term. Given the young line-up that San Jose will ice, Matthieu Schneider is perhaps the stag that will be a steadying influence on the little pigs on the club.
So there we have it. There are still a few free agents looking to be snapped up by clubs that are looking for a light snack during the season, but this buffet is essentially closed. You don’t have to buy the numbers as most GMs are totally spent anyways.
Appendix – Numbers quoted are years and annual NsHL salary
Anaheim – Todd Marchant C (4 @ $1,500,000), Dave Scatchard F (2 @ $705,000), Mark Parrish W (2 @ $700,000), Nick Holden D (2 @ $750,000), Ryan Stanton D (2 @ $900,000)
Atlanta – Rob Niedermayer F (2 @ $2,500,000), Andrew Peters LW (1 @ $750,000), Dylan Hunter LW (1 @ $550,000), Devin DiDiomete LW (2 @ $410,000)
Buffalo – Andrew MacDonald D (2 @ $800,000)
Calgary – Brad Richardson C/LW (4 @ $1,750,000), Lubomir Vishnovsky D (3 @ $10,000,000), Linus Klasen LW (3 @ $900,000)
Carolina – Michael Rupp LW (5 @ $3,000,000), Bill Guerin RW (1 @ $750,000), Jassen Cullimore D (2 @ $750,000), Jeremy Reich RW (1 @ $600,000), Ryan Nie G (1 @ $400,000)
Chicago – Ryan Dingle C (2 @ $600,000), Bryan Young D (1 @ $600,000), Mike Gabinet D (1 @ $600,000)
Colorado – Andy Sutton D (3 @ $3,250,000)
Columbus – Robert Lang C (1 @ $2,500,000), Mats Zuccarello RW (1 @ $1,000,000), Andy Wozniewsky D (2 @ $700,000), Patrick Wellar D (2 @ $650,000), Michael Mole G (1 @ $680,000)
Dallas – Jake Newton D (2 @ $450,000), Jussi Rynnas G (2 @ $600,000), Dan Henningson D (2 @ $620,000)
Detroit – Teemu Selanne RW (1 @ $5,500,000), Roman Hamrlik D (2 @ $3,000,000)
Edmonton – Dominic Moore LW/C – (3 @ $700,000), Pavel Kubina D (3 @ $6,500,000), Ruslan Salei D (3 @ $4,000,000), Joe DiPenta D (3 @ $650,000)
Florida – Trent Whitfield C (3 @ $775,000), Niclas Wallin D (3 @ $1,600,000), Steve Staios D (2 @ $1,900,000), Sean O’Donnell D (1 @ $1,000,000), Marty Murray C (2 @ $650,000), Joe Barnes C (2 @ $750,000), Greg Rallo C (2 @ $ 650,000), Trevor Hendrikx D (3 @ $725,000)
Los Angeles – Jarolsav Spacek D (2 @ $2,850,000), T.J. Hensick C (3 @ $1,500,000), Karlis Skrastins D (1 @ $995,000), Nolan Yonkman D (2 @ $685,000), Martin Jones G (3 @ $530,000)
Minnesota – Kris Draper C/LW (1 @ $900,000), Shean Donovan RW (1 @ $1,827,000), Michal Rozsival D (4 @ $4,750,000), Jose Theodore G (2 @ $2,250,000), Zenon Konopka C (2 @ $999,000), Todd Fedoruk LW (3 @ $999,000), Adam Mair LW (3 @ $999,000)
Montreal – David Desharnais C (3 @ $600,000), Pat Dwyer RW (2 @ $600,000)
Nashville – Marty Reasoner C (2 @ $1,200,000), Kimmo Timmonen D (3 @ $3,250,000), Chris Osgood G (2 @ $1,100,000), Lukas Pither C (2 @ $525,000), Andy Rogers D (2 @ $525,000)
New Jersey – Eric Boulton LW (2 @ $900,000), Jody Shelley LW (2 @ $800,000), Chris Mueller RW (2 @ $550,000)
NY Islanders – Paul Kariya LW (1 @ $6,800,000), Bryan Lundbohm C (1 @ $700,000), Rylan Kaip C (1 @ $600,000), Yannick Tifu C (1 @ $650,000), Brock McBride RW (1 @ $500,000), Eric Goddard LW (1 @ $650,000), Matthew Ford RW (1 @ $600,000), Chris Beckford-Tseu G (1 @ $600,000)
NY Rangers – Ruslan Fedotenko W (4 @ $1,500,000), Landon Wilson RW (1 @ $850,000), Andrew Ference D (4 @ $3,000,000), Greg Mauldin C (2 @ $750,000), Daryl Boyce C (2 @ $750,000), Brad Larson W (2 @ $750,000), Boyd Kane LW (2 @ $750,000), Dan Lacouture LW (2 @ $750,000), A.J. Thelen D (2 @ $750,000)
Ottawa – Keith Aucoin C (1 @ $800,000), Rory Fitzpatrick D (1 @ $600,000), Dan Jancevski D (1 @ $600,000), Erik Gustafsson D (3 @ $700,000)
Philadelphia – Derek Armstrong C (1 @ $815,000), Michael Haley C (3 @ $400,000), Brad Mills C (1 @ $600,000), Stephen Gionta LW (1 @ $600,000), Mitch Fritz LW (1 @ $600,000), Justin Soryal LW (1 @ $350,000), Maxim Lacroix LW (2 @ $350,000)
Phoenix – Matt Cullen C ($ @ $2,750,000), Jere Lehtinen RW (1 @ $3,000,000), Brad Lukowich D (3 @ $3,000,000), Brian McGrattan C (1 @ $650,000), Brett Palin D (1 @ $600,000)
Pittsburgh – Matt Bradley RW (3 @ $1,600,000), Paul Mara D (3 @ $2,200,000), Michael Nylander C (1 @ $800,000), George Parros RW (1 @ $600,000), Mike McKenna G (2 @ $600,000)
San Jose – Matthieu Schneider D (1 @ $1,400,000)
St. Louis – Mike Modano C (1 @ $1,750,000), Mark Eaton D (3 @ $2,250,000), Kyle Calder LW (2 @ $850,000)
Tampa Bay – Cory Stillman LW (2 @ $5,000,000), Joe Corvo D (4 @ $2,125,000), Steve Montador D (3 @ $1,800,000), Henrik Karlsson G (2 @ $750,000)
Toronto – Daniel Alfredsson RW (3 @ $7,500,000), Aaron Asham RW (3 @ $1,750,000), Toby Petersen F (3 @ $750,000), Marcel Mueller LW (3 @ $750,000), Casey Wellman RW (2 @ $900,000), Mike Mottau D (3 @ $900,000), Sergei Bobrovsky G (1 @ $1,000,000)
Vancouver – Henrik Tallinder D (4 @ $4,750,000), Peter Zingoni C (2 @ $700,000), Ilari Filppula C (3 @ $1,000,000), Roman Wick RW (2 @ $750,000), John Graeme G (2 @ $825,000), Sebastien Dahm G (2 @ $650,000)
Washington – Doug Weight C (1 @ $700,000), Mikael Samuelsson RW (3 @ $3,600,000), Colin Stuart C (1 @ $650,000), Denis Hamel LW (1 @ $650,000)
-Aristotle Newton for Buythenumbers, a Division of The Society for Canadian Hockey Research in partnership with Elite Sim News; with files from Mike McRibb of the BPFAA (Boneless Pig Farmers Association of America)
* Fans of The Office may know that driven salesman Dwight Schrute also farms pigs. He once said, “I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken, chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat; couple of pigs watching.”
* Mr. Zuckerman was the farmer in children’s novel Charlotte’s Web who spared his talented pig Wilbur after a wise spider spun webs with life-saving messages.
* A sucker is a young pig who is still at the teat, but would not necessarily be called piglets because of their size.
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